Friday, November 02, 2007

Having soul peace

I got the comment from somebody who said that more people should be like me, standing up for things that are bad...like smoking. In some areas and some cases I can be a bitch, that means that I am just a little less bad than the people am this bitch towards. I say only one thing: one earns one's respect.

The funny thing is that there is a person who made my choice to try to stop being a pathetic wimp...a person who made me cry for two (separate) nights. Who made me flee into the bathroom so that no one could reach me. Who maybe made me feel worse than I ever had... I am a wimp in my own eyes almost every day but I am working on it and it is easier since that evening. I chose one peace before another.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

This is truly cryptic, I assume it's supposed to be that way. Not that it is my business, just wondering if those 2 nights occured recently, when you were an adult person? Sounds more like something that happens at school? Do you consider yourself a whimp? That is absolutely not the impression I get from reading your blog. I truly hope you can rise from that way of looking upon yourself, it's not good for you. You have very strong opinions and you stand you your beliefs, that is admirable!

Natasja said...

Yes, it is supposed to be cryptic. I try not to write too much/too obvious about some people. I am going to answer your questions though. No, it wasn't that recently, just a few years ago. Yes, I was adult. You see, I find myself having more things to "figure out", more things to clear out now than when I was younger and in the "proper age of difficulties". Not that I have those problems now but I just think more now about some things than I did about then, even if they probably would have been quite different then.
Yes, I do consider myself a whimp sometimes because I do things/avoiding doing things I think one/I should stand up for, not allowing people to be treated bad in different ways eg. (including words behind their backs). Btw, it is quite easy to stand for my beliefs here, where only people who choses to read it come. Here I am not in a context including other people I have o meet every day and live with. I try to be the same way outside of my little INCH-world that you sometimes read about. It's not so easy though because there is always this line between thinking of myself and what I believe in and thinking about others. I'm working on it...And thanks for your kind words, whoever you are...