I might not be thrilled with all of my assignments at work but I have colleagues that can brighten up my day and just make me smile. Just to celebrate my 1 year here in Gothenburg I bought a cake and some nice fruit for the rest to enjoy and it (plus my note on top of the cake) rendered in sweet comments and even a kiss on the cheek from G.
On Facebook I wrote this yesterday: "För 2 dagar sen "firade" jag 1 år i Gbg. Ankom med väskan till GbgC kl. 20.17 fredagen 13 nov 2009. :-)" (Two days ago I "celebrated" 1 year in Gotheburg. Arrived with the bag at Gothenburg Central station at 8.17 pm Friday 13th 2009. :-))
...and the comments to that: G.C.S.: göteborg har blivit en annan stad sedan du kom hit! (Gothenburg's become another city since you came!)
A.W.: Jag är jätteglad för det! (I'm so happy for that!)
Y.M.: Väskan!??? Var den kanske gul??? Tur att du finns hos oss - med väska. (The bag!??? Was it yellow maybe??? We're lucky to have you with us - with a bag.)
This is an old song (which you immediately see in the video, just gotta love it's ugliness) about how hard it can be to "just be friends". I have a feeling that most people experience it at one point in life or another, both ways, both being the one finding it hard to "just be friends" and being the one who just want the friendship.
Så jag hör ingen som säger till mig; "du lever på kredit" Men hon öppna ett fönster och hon låser vind och hon bryter min lag Och jag ska aldrig stänga in någonting igen men idag har jag suttit timme ut och timme in - inne här
It's hard do see people you love hurt and there is very little you can do. Sadness, what ifs, loss, grief, figuring out how to handle things that probably couldn't have been prevented. Things one just have to live with for the rest of their lives.
Someone I only got to know a while ago just wrote this to me on Facebook. It really made me smile and I want to keep it and therefore I post it here on my blog. The thing is that I haven't known her for a long time and yet she writes this about me. I always find it fascinating how people percept others. It can vary quite a bit, including when it comes to me. It makes me wonder where the biggest part lies, within me and how I present myself or the other person's preconceptions?
"Och Natasja, jag vill bara säga att du är en av de få människor som BÅDE har starka åsikter OCH orkar och kan se, acceptera och respektera människorna så som de är utan att tänka på facket de ofta blir stoppade i."
"Hahaha, Natasja, you have more energy than 99 percent of all people I've met in my life ;-)"
My dear friend Karin wrote this. To sum it up, I do have a lot of energy, presupposing I find the situation/subject/people interesting and important. Some appreciate this energy, others find it annoying and/or threatening (my interpretation at least) for some reason.
A colleague said: "Är du en väldigt levnadsglad person, Natasja?" "Are you a person filled of zest for life, Natasja?" He thought I was speaking so enthusiastically, smiled and talking with my whole body. Of course I was happy to hear that but it also says something about how at least some Swedes think and act. That is, like me. Why is it seen as something uncommon? Let loose people! The more you give, the more you get. Trust me on that.
And that goes for people who refuses to see what's going on around them and sometimes because of them. For some it has to do with politics, for some their personal lives and actions. For some both areas. Everything has consequences, whether you like it or not. Deal with it or live with it.
What else could it be? With a job I like, amazingly nice and interesting colleagues, in Gothenburg, right in the center and not too far from my darling in Scania, it's impossible. I even got an apartment, even if just temporary and in second hand but it's nice and my "landlord" is very nice, even had a coffee with him and his boyfriend the other day. Next thing to get started with is to figure out what I want to do in Amnesty in Gothenburg. I miss it a lot, not having had the time and peace of mind to figure it out during the last month and a half. It takes some time to get settled at work and to find an apartment. It's also the reason for not having been so active here on my blog.
Right now I'm enjoying Harry Potter on TV, laying on the bed, eating gingerbread cookies and drinking "julmust" after having a very nice Christmas!
Att skratta är att verka löjlig. Att gråta är att verka sentimental. Att sträcka ut handen mot någon annan är att riskera att bli involverad. Att uttrycka sina känslor är att riskera att visa upp sitt rätta jag. Att lägga fram sina ideal, sina drömmar inför en publik är att riskera att förlora dem. Att älska är att riskera att inte bli älskad tillbaka. Att leva är att riskera att dö. Att hoppas är att riskera att bli förtvivlad. Att försöka är att riskera att misslyckas.
MEN – RISKER MÅSTE TAS, för den största risken man kan ta här i livet är att inte ta några risker alls. En människa som inte riskerar någonting, gör ingenting, har ingenting och är ingenting. Han kanske undviker lidande och sorg, men han kan inte lära, känna, förändras, älska eller leva. Kedjad av sina säkerhetsföreskrifter blir han en slav. Han har förverkat sin frihet. Bara en människa som tar risker är FRI
(Ralph Waldo Emerson, amerikansk 1800-talsfilosof och social reformator)
Suicide attempt, depression, cancer, self mutilation (cutting), rape, dysfunctional families and relationships, theft, abuse, alcoholism, lack of food, racism, miscarriage, inappropriate jobs, teenage pregnancies, very wrong men... I don't envy some of the women at work.Some are barely 20 years old.
I doens't hurt to ask. I like to ask things (way of gaining more knowledge). Therefore I am asking if there is anyone out there who could recommend me a job to apply for? My main interest lies within the areas that I at times write about, that is human right in one way or another, to improve the human rights in one way or another, or anything that is suitable for someone with a master in political science. Main critaria is that it has something to do with what I in one way or another is talking about here on INCH, what interest just as much as it makes me furious.
My pile of articles that I have ripped out of newspapers is growing as usual. My intention with them is to bring up the subjects in them here but they are overwhelmingly many and I don't know where to start. It is especially hard when there are so many other things in life that wants my attention, not the least my never ending, or so it seems, job search. I even felt that I had to turn down the offer of becomming the next chairwoman for my Amnesty division because of my shattered spare time, or maybe it is mostly in my head. Non the less, it felt like too time consuming at the moment.
A certain Ann wrote this to me: The realities of the life are morst truliy seen in everyday things and action....nice day to you
My answer was: I couldn't agree more. I'm of the belief that one ought to see to one's surrounding life and peoples in it before searching answers elsewhere. Although, I'm well aware that I belong to the minority in this world for thinking so. My prof for that you can find here at World Values Survey. I'm nonetheless convinced that many people are too prone to see what they want to see rather than seeing how things are.
Head over heels I've fit in before, now, I don't want to do it no more. I've held it all in with blood on my face, built it up man so bad you can taste.
I don't slag no one, I don't even judge. Don't give a shit cause I'm not gonna budge. I just want to be who I want to be, Guess that's hard for others to see.
I'm not a trendy asshole. I do what I want, I do what I feel like. I'm not a trendy asshole. I don't give a fuck if it's good enough for you. Cause I'm alive.
Smash is the way you feel all alone, like an outcast you're out on your own. Smash is the way you deal with your life, like an outcast you're smashing your strife.
Head over heels I've fit in before, now, I don't want to do it no more. I just want to be who I want to be, guess that's hard for the others to see.
1 year has passed. I remember this day one year ago much better than I wish I did.
This song has been my favorite song since 1998. There is one sentence in it that I try to learn from and try to keep in mind if/when I get into a situation that reminds me of a previous one. I haven't been in a situation like that that I was a year ago again but it is a day that I hope not have to relive.
Akademien, dom är tunga känn Du måste gunga den Melodin är så Du måste sjunga den Rytmen som tvingar dig till dans (till trans) hettan som tar dig någon annanstans Sydligt klimat tar dig från prydligt privat Extas kommer snart, ja det är tydligt och klart att du känner, det bränner lusten pockar på du vill ha (tångtångtitångtångtång) Kan nån annan locka dom? Kan några andra flockar få dig att koppla av helt? (Nej) Rytm och rutin när dom andra kör för stelt Taktfasthet, han som har lagt är vass het lägger den tångt, när andra går bet och du vet
Så, gunga den, kvinna, gunga den Så, gunga den, kvinna, gunga den Gunga den, kvinna, gunga den Ja, gunga den, kvinna, gunga den
När man blir kär är det en underbar sak varje dag blir jag kär
Baken som skakar när hon går förbi brösten som guppar, dom sätter mig fri ja, låt det skölja över inte hölja, dölja över inte följa klöver Söver brödrar, systrar lyssna Vill ni ha en macho, en hård man nu? Patetiskt, ja Vad gööör vi Du vill ha en man som kan
Varför stå där så tunga, hänga i klunga, blänga Låt det gunga, svänga Ge tristessen en känga Låt nävarna svänga Höfterna kränga Ingen alls kan stänga för vår gängarslagdänga Lustarna väcks När huven gungar loss Inga machokomplex, kom och gunga med oss Befria dig själv Släpp fram det som förtrycks Unna ditt inre lite lyx
Emancipation Revolution i rytm och ton Du är allting annat än ett tjänstehjon Varje rörelse del av din frigörelse Akademien motverkar själslig förödelse Och om en kamp svänger mer kommer jag chansa på den Allén har mer att ge och du kan dansa så känn Uppbrottets melodi, jag vill sjunga den Och när jag sliter mig fri vill jag gunga den
Slunga den, David, Slunga den Dom är tunga känn, Kvinna gunga dem Slunga den, David,Slunga den Dom är tunga känn. Mannen gunga dem
När man är kär är det en underbar sak varje dag blir jag kär
Mary asked me about the aim of this organization and here is the answer to it. I just want to add that I still have sporadic contact with some of the people who were involved in the exchange 1994 (Hamburg) and 1997 (São Paulo). Some years ago I even went with my family to Brazil and stayed in my Brazilian friend's house for five days and even if it had passed several years since we had met and really talked, we kind of just continued where we had left off and were still friends.
"CISV is a charitable, independent, non-political, volunteer organization promoting peace education and cross-cultural friendship.
We are a global community of dedicated volunteers, creating opportunities for all ages to experience the excitement and enrichment of cultural diversity through our educational programmes. We are founded on our belief that peace is possible through friendship - and that the real difference can be made by starting with children.
CISV provides a range of unique, education group activities, which develop cross-cultural understanding in children, youth and adults from around the world. By encouraging respect for cultural difference and the development of self-awareness, CISV empowers each participant to incorporate these values into their lives as they become global citizens and strive for a more peaceful world."
I wonder which is worse, to underestimate people or to overestimate them? I think if anything I tend to overestimate some people. I think they understand more than they do (especially after I've explained to them) but the worst thing is when I feel that people try to make me believe that they don't understand just to make it easier on themselves. I really don't understand that. Maybe when I'm fifty.
Y.M.: Väskan!??? Var den kanske gul??? Tur att du finns hos oss - med väska. (The bag!??? Was it yellow maybe??? We're lucky to have you with us - with a bag.)