Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Shaping one's mind

You know what I find interesting about myself? How I notice how my opinions get both more focused and broad, taking a certain direction. It's getting clearer. And harder. The more one believe in something, the more are those believes an easier target, making it a weak spot even if it at the same time is something that one is more convinced about. I remember the compulsory-school (grundskolan) sometimes when having an opinion/experience about/of something, no matter how small and unimportant it was, and that didn't fit into some of my classmates view about how they WANTED it to be. Then they could put me down and overriding my opinions and saying in different ways that I was silly, boring and wrong. I would have hoped for that it would be different as an adult but it isn't always because some still have a tendency to be bullies in a way even though most seem to be nicer to people who have other opinions than they. Either way, having opinions and knowledge about things doesn't mean that you always get the respect you deserve. WHy? My theory is that you are uncomfortable when having those things. So what "should" one do? Go with the flow, don't stick out, don't question anything (at least not out loud!) or anyone, accept obvious mistakes, lies and other things that seem to be the code.

It's a little weird how a person can both follow the rules and breaking them at the same time. Following rules IS sometimes to break them. Being right is being wrong.

I am well aware of that some of the things I write on INCH are quite abstract and you as a reader simply can't understand what I am talking about. Dispite the fact that this is a public diary, it is MY diary and I write it for my own sake and for the future.

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