Saturday, December 20, 2008

A wish. A promise. A lesson.

If I only could make people understand how much I wish I did NOT care so much about certain things, how much easier life would be for me and those people who makes me feel so bad. Sometimes it almost feels like a curse to care because the more I care, the worse people can make me feel (especially if I have a very personal relationship to them). Some years ago I made a promise to myself that I have kept and intend to keep. It's awful be ashamed of myself and not being able to respect myself.

This evening I was in a situation where I had to take a stand and say that enough was enough. I got up from the dinner table and said that the other person had crossed the line and I had to go home and here I am. So now everyone who was there feels bad for different reasons, but at least I am don't feel ashamed for what I did, said or felt. It sucks.

A lesson is learned, the lesson about another side of a person I know. I wish I didn't know.

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