An info junkie's random thoughts but never random opinions about politics, human rights, music, life and everything in between.
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Don't leave.
Why do people tend to go away after a while? It also tends to be the people that I get along with the best. No matter whether it is going away in the sense loosing/ending contact or moving far away. Either way....it's no good. Not for me. :-(
5 comments:
Anonymous
said...
Oh, that's so sad to hear. Is it someone that left recently perhaps? I've been through that myself and I guess it's part of life even if it hurts bad, especially if it's someone you have a crush on or even love. I'm sure a person like you have a lot of nice friends and will get along pretty well anyway.
No, it¨'s more that it happens "every now and then" but it is still not a nice experience...to say the least...just as you say. No, I don't have many good friends and some live abroad so I don't have much contact with them unfortunately.
Have you ever thought that it can depend on your own behaviour? Have you ever thought that it can be your own fault? Think, Natasja, how have you treated your friends lately? I do not have the answers, of course, but maybe it can help if you ask yourself the questions above. And go on with your bloggs. I like them mostly.
I have to agree with the previous anonymous poster here, every man and woman should look at his or her own behaviour and try to figure out why ppl sometimes leave or quit the contact. Maybe you send "wrong signals"? Not trying to say that you are a particularly difficult person to deal with but perhaps you should ask yourself some questions and listen more to the ppl around you trying to catch "the signals"? This is the sad part of every human relationship, they might be abandoned and that is so painful, trust me, I've been there myself. I guess most ppl have?! Cheer up dear! If it's someone you love (i.e. man I guess) I understand the situation is a lot more difficult. Love messes up life and still we can't live without it, it seems.
I am amazed that the three of you take such an interest in what I wrote. Thank you. I will try to answer you from my point of view, especially the two anonymous (btw, I'd really appreciate if you DON'T call yourself anonymous and instead use a name, real or fake, I don't care, it's frustrating and confusing otherwise). You are right that one always have to think about how you behave and the signals you give and true. I don't always master that art as well as I'd like to sometimes. Eg. I sometimes find a bit tricky to get more superficial friendship to become a deeper friendship but on the other hand, it takes two people to make a friendship work like that. So if one of the two are not interested, there will not be a better friendship. The friendships I do have, they are in general people who don't leave. I know there is one case where I have lost a friend because I didn't handle it quite right (even though I personally think I didn't get the chance/time to fix it, which I really would have tried to do) but it is also a case I understand and am quite aware of the circumstances and in one (and just one) sense accept it. But, otherwise, I am actually talking about cases that have very little to do with me, if any, eg. people moving far away for a job or school, or moving and starting a family. People that are good and nice, but not necessarily particular close to me. In other cases it has actually been me who was the moving person. There are also cases where *I* quite the friendship because they have treated me in a disrespectful way or in a way betrayed my trust. So, what I want to say is that I don't think I have treated my friends very bad, at least not to make them leave (one exception). You are still right though when it comes to always being aware of how you treat people close to you. Human relations ARE by definition a mess ;-) There is one more thing though that I'd like to mention as a general thing. Not if but when people make mistakes, say hurtful things etc. one have to SPEAK UP! TELL the person who said or did something bad what they did, it is not always easy to know or maybe even understand it without an explanation. People have to learn to take more responsibility of themselves...because if you are not aware of the wrongdoing, how on earth will he or she be able to try to change and/or apologize? Just a thought...Now I am sleepy, good night!
5 comments:
Oh, that's so sad to hear. Is it someone that left recently perhaps? I've been through that myself and I guess it's part of life even if it hurts bad, especially if it's someone you have a crush on or even love. I'm sure a person like you have a lot of nice friends and will get along pretty well anyway.
No, it¨'s more that it happens "every now and then" but it is still not a nice experience...to say the least...just as you say. No, I don't have many good friends and some live abroad so I don't have much contact with them unfortunately.
Have you ever thought that it can depend on your own behaviour? Have you ever thought that it can be your own fault? Think, Natasja, how have you treated your friends lately? I do not have the answers, of course, but maybe it can help if you ask yourself the questions above.
And go on with your bloggs. I like them mostly.
I have to agree with the previous anonymous poster here, every man and woman should look at his or her own behaviour and try to figure out why ppl sometimes leave or quit the contact. Maybe you send "wrong signals"? Not trying to say that you are a particularly difficult person to deal with but perhaps you should ask yourself some questions and listen more to the ppl around you trying to catch "the signals"? This is the sad part of every human relationship, they might be abandoned and that is so painful, trust me, I've been there myself. I guess most ppl have?! Cheer up dear! If it's someone you love (i.e. man I guess) I understand the situation is a lot more difficult. Love messes up life and still we can't live without it, it seems.
I am amazed that the three of you take such an interest in what I wrote. Thank you. I will try to answer you from my point of view, especially the two anonymous (btw, I'd really appreciate if you DON'T call yourself anonymous and instead use a name, real or fake, I don't care, it's frustrating and confusing otherwise). You are right that one always have to think about how you behave and the signals you give and true. I don't always master that art as well as I'd like to sometimes. Eg. I sometimes find a bit tricky to get more superficial friendship to become a deeper friendship but on the other hand, it takes two people to make a friendship work like that. So if one of the two are not interested, there will not be a better friendship. The friendships I do have, they are in general people who don't leave. I know there is one case where I have lost a friend because I didn't handle it quite right (even though I personally think I didn't get the chance/time to fix it, which I really would have tried to do) but it is also a case I understand and am quite aware of the circumstances and in one (and just one) sense accept it. But, otherwise, I am actually talking about cases that have very little to do with me, if any, eg. people moving far away for a job or school, or moving and starting a family. People that are good and nice, but not necessarily particular close to me. In other cases it has actually been me who was the moving person. There are also cases where *I* quite the friendship because they have treated me in a disrespectful way or in a way betrayed my trust. So, what I want to say is that I don't think I have treated my friends very bad, at least not to make them leave (one exception). You are still right though when it comes to always being aware of how you treat people close to you. Human relations ARE by definition a mess ;-) There is one more thing though that I'd like to mention as a general thing. Not if but when people make mistakes, say hurtful things etc. one have to SPEAK UP! TELL the person who said or did something bad what they did, it is not always easy to know or maybe even understand it without an explanation. People have to learn to take more responsibility of themselves...because if you are not aware of the wrongdoing, how on earth will he or she be able to try to change and/or apologize? Just a thought...Now I am sleepy, good night!
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