NO! No accounting

I just realized that it in my profile says that I am doing accounting which couldn't be more wrong, I don't understand how it got there in the first place. I also realized when trying to change "accounting" to "not specified", it didn't work. Blogger want me to have something there, anything but "not specified". "Non profit" is the closest thing that I am doing, in both senses. I actually am doing some kind of non profit work but mainly it is because I in general certainly isn't making any profit at all right now...

The Maybe

There are many words to dislike, depending on one's preferences. There is one particularly I really don't like and it is the word "maybe". Unfortunately I have to use it every now and then myself but I don't like to use it and I really don't like when others use it. It tend to be followed by a "no" and all the hopes, wishes and more or less fixed plans turn to nothing. "Maybe we can meet/do..." but then nothing. I am well aware of the fact that there are times when you simply don't know but until it becomes a "yes" and the plans are followed through, there is this tension of not knowing and one's maybe turn into other's maybes because people are connected. I can't help being the type of person who likes to know and understand things. "Maybe (=maybe not) we can meet at...", "Maybe (= maybe not) I can get this job", "Maybe (= maybe not) I can afford doing...", "Maybe (= maybe not) I will catch the train". The maybes aren't always said out loud but they are still there. I am the kind of person who needs variation and change but it doesn't mean that I like uncertainty. It gets straight to my head and my stomach and as a consequent also affects my mood. It is a thing that doesn't make me calmer if I put like that and those who knows me know that that is something I don't need, to be more..."energetic".

What I see

It's a little boy walking around with the ballons!

Eternal life?

I live close to an old people's home and a very old man once gave me a nice little card with a few Bible verses (also Joh 11:25-26, 1 Joh 4:9-11). It is about God loving the world and that those who believes him shall have eternal life.

Ty så älskade Gud världen, att han utgav sin enfödde Son, på det att var och en som tror på honom skall icke förgås, utan hava evigt liv. Joh. 3:16

If you haven't seen the movie "Highlander" och can't remember it, click here, a 30 sec version of the movie. It is about some people who have eternal life on earth. So the live and get to see their loved ones live and die while they have to wander the earth, not ageing a day. The only way to get killed is to be decapitated (halshuggen). They have only one, main objective in their several hundreds of years long lives and that is to win The Prize at the Gathering. The Gathering is the last remaining immortals meeting to fight for The Prize because it is only the last living immortal who can win it, "it can be only one". "The Prize, which is revealed to be mortality, the ability to sire children, and a telepathic/empathic gift wherein he can communicate with and influence the greatest minds or most powerful people on the planet." (Wikipedia) So what they strive for is mortality and having a somewhat normal life, and that goes for the evil immortals as well.

Reading the Bible verse that is put up on my wall next to articles and other things, made me think of the perspectives forwarded by the verse and the movie. It made me think of an open question...

Is there an intrinsic importance to have an eternal life, whatever the form of life is? I am not questioning whether there is some kind of eternal life or not, I am just wondering if it is good in it self and therefore worth striving for?

The Pen Collector?

Amazonic greetings

If you only knew what greetings from the Amazon can do for a meeting and a person's day...hahaha...

SiCKO

"This might hurt a little.
Get well soon.
What seems to be the problem?
For many Americans, laughter isn't the best medicine - it's the only medicine."

"Plot outline: A documentary comparing the highly profitable American health care industry to other nations, and HMO horror stories."

/IMDB

I haven't seen it yet, but I have a strong feeling that there is a person who I think should see this documentary. One I had a quite difficult argument with about this very issue. Difficult because I realized that the person wasn't the kind of person I had been given the impression of.

Shaping one's mind

You know what I find interesting about myself? How I notice how my opinions get both more focused and broad, taking a certain direction. It's getting clearer. And harder. The more one believe in something, the more are those believes an easier target, making it a weak spot even if it at the same time is something that one is more convinced about. I remember the compulsory-school (grundskolan) sometimes when having an opinion/experience about/of something, no matter how small and unimportant it was, and that didn't fit into some of my classmates view about how they WANTED it to be. Then they could put me down and overriding my opinions and saying in different ways that I was silly, boring and wrong. I would have hoped for that it would be different as an adult but it isn't always because some still have a tendency to be bullies in a way even though most seem to be nicer to people who have other opinions than they. Either way, having opinions and knowledge about things doesn't mean that you always get the respect you deserve. WHy? My theory is that you are uncomfortable when having those things. So what "should" one do? Go with the flow, don't stick out, don't question anything (at least not out loud!) or anyone, accept obvious mistakes, lies and other things that seem to be the code.

It's a little weird how a person can both follow the rules and breaking them at the same time. Following rules IS sometimes to break them. Being right is being wrong.

I am well aware of that some of the things I write on INCH are quite abstract and you as a reader simply can't understand what I am talking about. Dispite the fact that this is a public diary, it is MY diary and I write it for my own sake and for the future.

Pretty Little Ditty

by Red Hot Chili Peppers

Frustration, the word of the year

Sometimes (often?) I get so tired of myself. Always this "being so decent" (präktig) (in the negative way) which only makes me, and everyone that "have" to listen to me, more frustrated than satisfied. Why? Because I have no actual influence anyway. Tired. Frustrated. I just don't know what to do about it. I know, I go on and on about this here on INCH in but it's just that it affects my life so much and this is my unloading spot for thoughts in this crowded mind and therefore is my main puzzle at the "moment". Maybe not on the outside, a life that is hardly exciting or different at all, but in my mind there is this constant fight about how to handle this constant flow of thoughts and feelings. If asked what is the the worst feeling, I have several suggestions, eg. feeling betrayed/disrespected, but I think that I'd have to say that frustration is my most common feeling that I struggle with and therefore the worst feeling. There are so many things I feel frustrated about, so inadequate and annoyingly simply too much. I've got waaay to much excess energy in different forms. Yes, I KNOW I can't do much, but why would that stop me from feeling intensive frustration about it? I wish it wasn't so but being told in both verbal and nonverbal forms doesn't change a state of mind just because it would be more comfortable, for me or the people I interact with. Am I making any sence at all?

Now...I am going stop nagging about this, for tonight, and do what I can, trying to fall asleep as soon as possible, not giving myself chance to dwell further on the subject. And bore you to death.

"The Unthinking Majority"

Serj Tankian (from SOAD)

K-mart no no:s

Fun reading about what you should not do in a K-mart store ;-)

http://www.i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=25341

La Natasja?

Who would have thought that I have something in common with Camilla Henemark, the former "La Camilla" in the "Army of Lovers" (famous group in the late 80ies and early 90ies).

The was interviewed on the radio and asked what part of her personality that she'd like to amputate. She answered the question exactly as I would have. She said that she wished that she could keep quiet even when someone is saying/doing something that she she feels is very wrong, just being able to not say anything. Then she changed her mind a little, saying that she wouldn't like to take away that entirely because that would take away her courage to stand up for her beliefs (civilkurage). Sure, it would make life a bit easier but on the other hand it would be a great cost. Too big?

Eat money!

"It is not until the last tree has died, the last river has been poisoned and the last fish has been caught that we will realize that we can not eat money"

They're back! Yeah!

Dia Psalma is really back. I saw them live last year and they were really good and the crowd was crazy. I obviously wasn't the only one who had longed to see them live for the the last 11 years or so! Sure, I had to fight a little with this huge guy who tried to stand in front of me, pushing etc. When he realized that I wasn't a mean bitch, just someone who couldn't see anything standing behind him and didn't like to be pushed around just because I was smaller than him, he turned out to be ok. Then there were these two guys standing in front of me you looked like the Matrix Twins with their blond, long dreadlocks which whipped my face when they bounced back and forth. I know that I might have written this before, but I don't care. I think they are as good today as they were then and are well worth to be mentioned again.

Dia Psalma reunited last year and now in October their are releasing a new album, "The Deep Forest" and they are going on a tour. :-D

Collecting/obsession

They seem closer connected than I had wished for... :-( You learn something new everyday. :/

Lazy people?

Sure, there are some who are. What makes me angry is the way of seeing people using their rights in a welfare society. It is somehow seen as something ugly and at the same time judging people for being lazy, incompetent etc. No way that people actually LIKE not having a job, a reasonable income, something to do every day, colleagues and the positive feed back that a daily purpose give. Making it as hard as they have, the ruling parties, by making it so much harder to get help while looking for jobs doesn't make people want to work more. They just make them feel worse, give them a stressful everyday and a stomach ache. I don't even want to think about those who has less things in their advantage eg. those who are from other countries and simply because of that have much bigger problems finding a job. I have seen it myself, working with women from other countries who are bright, well educated and experience from their professions in their country of origin. They mop floors etc. And they get stuck there. Well, let me tell you, having no right to help (except welfare) is NOT helping me getting a job. I would be very happy if someone could tell me how getting less help is helping me!

I am waiting...

More or less bad words

Haha...not anything for the prudish one. There are just a lot of words for different things. There is a reason for the name "Lågvattensynonymer" :-)

http://susning.nu/L%e5gvattensynonymer

I'm back

Nope, not tired of writing and I am alright (except for the fact that I am furious right now but that's a whole other story). I have just been away for a few days, visiting some friends and attending a one day course in human rights, China, organ donations, the Olympics...that are all connected. So, time to blog.

"Stupid girl" - Pink

Disease's growing, it's epidemic
I'm scared that there ain't a cure
The world believes it and I'm going crazy
I cannot take any more
I'm so glad that I'll never fit in
That will never be me
Outcasts and girls with ambition
That's what I wanna see
Disasters all around
World despaired
Their only concern
Will they **** up my hair

Madness

Dina Washington - "Mad About the Boy"

What a Wonderful World

Yes, they are words to embrace and yes, every now and then we need things that reminds us of the things that make us joyful and optimistic. "What a Wonderful World" sung by Louis Armstrong.

And I keep steeling things :-)

2 quiet minutes? Or 2 hours?

Today it's the 11 september, 6 years after the terror attack in the US. Following text I have stolen from my father (hope you don't mind) who got it from someone else, also shared in "AI-snack" (discussion group within Amnesty International on the Internet). The point is why some lives are valued more than others:

"Om ni fortfarande är chockade över förra veckans bilder, hedra med en tyst minut de 7000 amerikaner, flertalet oskyldiga civila, som så fegt dödades av terrorister, människor vi ännu inte vet vilka de är. Medan ni ändå är tysta fortsätt med det ytterligare tretton minuter för att hedra de 130 000 civila irakier som dödades 1991 på order av pappa Bush. Då kan ni säkert också påminna er att amerikanerna vid detta tillfälle festade på samma sätt som palestinierna gjorde dagen efter dådet i USA. Lägg till ytterligare tjugo minuter för de 200 000 iranier som dödades av vapen och pengar skänkta till Saddam Hussein (fortfarande ung på den tiden) av samma amerikaner som senare skulle vända sitt artilleri mot honom. Fortsätt med ytterligare femton minuters tystnad för att hedra de ryssar och de 150 000 afghaner som dödades av talibanerna, även här med hjälp av amerikanska pengar och vapen. Fortsätt med tio minuter för de mer än 100 000 japaner som dödades direkt eller indirekt i Hiroshima och Nagasaki efter en aktion av amerikanerna. Du har redan varit tyst en hel timme, en minut för amerikanerna och 59 för deras offer. När du ändå står tyst och stilla fortsätt ytterligare en timme för de döda i Vietnamkriget…."
(Inlägg iu AI-snack 24 september 2001)

So, I am going as my father did and will do later today, not being quiet, not even one minute, not until someones arranges something not as judging for all the rest.

Tightrope

Papa Roach - "Tightrope". I really like this song, in total I probably spent several hours listning to it while walking down the streets of Bratislava, Slovakia. It wasn't a live version though.

No, she didn't say that!

Please tell me that she didn't say that! Please! Oh my...



Why did I label this "politics"...please tell me that you understand that yourself!! I refuse to explain that further, it is more obvious than that the earth is round.

Politicians

I am sitting here in front of the computer but I also have the TV on, listening on a speech by a new leader of a political party, for a liberal party. It probably doesn't matter much exactly which party it is but I can't help get annoyed by the tendency of politicians to run down* the opposite parties about what they have done and how they think. Of course they don't agree, that is kind of the idea, but does it make the own party better that the opposite party might not have succeeded? I personally get more positive towards thoughts and ideas when people/politicians speak of THEIR idea in a positive way, eg. "We, the X party, would like to do this and this because that and that. We believe that the society would be a better one in this way." than "The X party did this and this and it is now all shit. Their legacy is really bad, they are idiots. Vote for us.".

But that's just me.

* racka ner

---

After the speech in an interview of the the political party leader the journalist actually ask him about just about running down another party. He says that one should inform about the differences between the parties, make it more exciting. Well, in my ears that sounds just like a poor defence, why show how good yourself are instead of showing how bad the others are? Hm.

Finally I'd just like to add that this goes for all the parties and is easiest to notice in election times, which it won't be for another three years. I don't know if some are worse than others, I just don't like the way of getting ideas forward.

Pic from here.

Killing babies

There are several babies around me seeing their first light these days. Some of them are more lucky then others.

People usually don't give a shit about me when I talk about these things but maybe the risk of causing someone to miscarriage might be interesting?!

"Women who were exposed to their parents' smoking as children may have a higher likelihood of a miscarriage, new research suggests.In a study of nearly 2200 non-smoking pregnant women undergoing fertility treatment, researchers found that those exposed to their parents' second-hand smoke during childhood were 80% more likely to have a miscarriage compared with women whose parents didn't smoke.

The findings appear in the American Journal of Epidemiology."

From http://abc.net.au/science/news/stories/2007/2020532.htm?health


"Second hand smoking can cause miscarriage
Published 11 August 2006. Women who don't smoke themselves but are exposed to second hand smoking during pregnancy run a higher risk of suffer from miscarriage. That is shown in a study that has been made at the Karolinska institutet, says the Uppsala Nya Tidning and Svenska Dagbladet. The examination shows that the increased risk of miscarriage is 67 percent. The results suggests that pregnant women should avoid spending any time what so ever in environments where they can be exposed tobacco smoke according to researchers at the Karolinska institutet."

From https://svt.se/svt/jsp/Crosslink.jsp?d=37482&a=637422 (Swedish news on TV, SVT)

So if babies can DIE of smoke, what n earth do you think it does to YOU and ME and everybody else that are exposed to smoke?! You do whatever you feel like to your body and your life but show that much respect for others around you so you don't force them to inhale the obviously dangerous substances even if it might not kill us immediately. Just because some are not aware enough not to care enough about themselves and say that it is ok, does that make you as a smoker less guilty of exposing others to smoke?

Why is this Natasja so annoyingly furious about this all the time? It's simple, every smoker (that is smoker who smokes when there is anyone around) is causing me and thousands even millions of others problems in one way or another in our daily lives. So, I am sorry for bugging you. And for the rest of you who just stand by and say nothing, thanks!

Have a nice day!

Rock and rule

I know who The King is :-)

Pic found here.

I am round

Today somebody told me that I am round and others around me are square. That I am creative. That I need something else. But I am still round and others are square.

A round hole anywhere?

(Painting found here.)

As it sounds

In English you usually don't put two words together even though it might be about one single thing, eg. a "plastic bag" but in Sweden a single thing is also written as one word. In this case "plastpåse" the only option if one don't want to write it as one word is to separate and change it. eg. "plastig påse" but then the bag isn't made by plastic anymore, it just look like it or feel like it or it might mean that it just look cheap. See the difference?

Many Swedes says that it doesn't matter how you write as long as the receiver understands you (I can't help wondering if they write things like applications for jobs in the same way?!) but that is very strange actually. You see, there are formal rules about why and how words should be written as one word but there is one very basic and extremely simple that don't require any deep grammatical knowledge: if you say/pronounce the word as one, it IS one word and should therefore be written as one.

If the "writing in a way that people understand" shouldn't that mean that they wrote some things in the right way as an effect? So, what conclusion is possible then about why some Swedes don't write correctly? I know what I think, what do you think?

Chose the correct answer to "an animal with feathers that has a sun coloured neck":

a. gul nackad fågel = yellow, beheaded* bird

or

b. gulnackad fågel = bird with yellow neck

* killed

SHE'S BORN!

Tjohoooo! I just became an aunt, again :-D My sister's 3rd child, this time a little girl!

This is me! ;-) My teeth might not be quite as nice but still... ;-)

Strangle mum? An offence?

Occupying the phone when the other daughter would like to get in contact to hear about the first daughter!

Labor??

Gaaahhh..... how can you NOT have your mobile phone on when you neeeeeed it! Early labor....yes please...I'd like to find someone to talk to, NOW. I want to know more!

The good things

Two good things today. The first: listening to Aretha Franklin's "Say a Little Prayer" when walking around the train station in the early, windy but sunny morning. The second: a funny SMS from my sweet Ywonne talking about her first days as a mother! That made me laugh :-)

What about the bad things then? Since I wouldn't know where to start I wouldn't even know how to stop so I'll just skip it. Just one phrase: Useless in so many ways.

Dope, another WOWY

A title I usually don't like but this song I like a lot. "After all that we've been through..." I have been listening a lot to groups like Dope, Disturbed and Bullet for My Valentine lately. I know, I know...the chance that you, the reader (unless you're one (?) of the Anonymous writing here)would like this kind of music is so slim, I know. The only two people I know who likes it too don't read this blog for sure. One is the one who gave me a CD filled with this kind of music, the other one is my brother. Sorry for the video, couldn't find the real video if there is one. This song is at least very soft so maybe even you can stand listening to it ;-)

Dope - "With or Without You"